Birmingham Safeguarding Children Partnership

It is important that practitioners assess for domestic abuse prior to undertaking parental conflict work with a family.

Definition of Domestic Abuse 

The Domestic Abuse Act 2020 defines domestic abuse as:

The behaviour of a person (“A”) towards another person (“B”) is “domestic abuse” if:

(a) A and B are each aged 16 or over and are personally connected to each other, and

(b) the behaviour is abusive.

Behaviour is “abusive” if it consists of any of the following:

(a) physical or sexual abuse;

(b) violent or threatening behaviour;

(c) controlling or coercive behaviour;

(d) economic abuse;

(e) psychological, emotional or other abuse; and it does not matter whether the behaviour consists of a single incident or a course of conduct.

Definition of “personally connected”  

Two people are “personally connected” to each other if any of the following applies—

(a) they are, or have been, married to each other;

(b) they are, or have been, civil partners of each other;

(c) they have agreed to marry one another (whether or not the agreement has been terminated);

(d) they have entered into a civil partnership agreement (whether or not the agreement has been terminated);

(e) they are, or have been, in an intimate personal relationship with each other;

(f) they each have, or there has been a time when they each have had, a parental relationship in relation to the same child

(g) they are relatives

(h) disabled people and their family carers.

The definition also now recognises children as victims:

Any reference in this Act to a victim of domestic abuse includes a reference to a child who:

• sees or hears, or experiences the effects of, the abuse, and
• is related to A or B.

A child is related to a person for the purposes of the definition if:

• the person is a parent of, or has parental responsibility for, the child, or
• the child and the person are relatives.

In this definition a child is:

• “child” means a person under the age of 18 years;
• “parental responsibility” has the same meaning as in the Children Act 1989;
• “relative” has the meaning given by section 63(1) of the Family Law Act 1996.

Where domestic abuse is present there is usually a power imbalance in the relationship with the abusive partner coercively controlling the choices and behaviours of the non-abusive parent. When assessing for domestic abuse it is important that you see a potential victim alone as discussing abuse or concerns can escalate the risk to the victim and they may be able to be open and honest. Using a risk assessment tool will assist you with asking helpful questions which can establish if there is domestic abuse and the level of risk. The Safe Lives Domestic Abuse, Stalking and Honour Based Abuse (DASH) risk assessment tool can be found below:

SafeLives Dash risk checklist for the identification of high risk cases of domestic abuse, stalking and ‘honour’-based violence

Domestic abuse is any abusive act between family members, ex-spouses, intimate cohabitants, former intimate cohabitants, dating couples and former dating couples in which one party seeks to gain/maintain power and control over the other partner. Couples or former couples can be of the same or opposite sex.

Gaslighting is a form of psychological abuse in which a person or group causes someone to question their own sanity, memories, or perception of reality. People who experience gaslighting may feel confused, anxious, or as though they cannot trust themselves.

In relationships where there is Parental Conflict, neither partner would fear the other. There would be no evidence or coercively controlling behaviour. There would also not be any form of abusive behaviour as defined within the domestic abuse definition towards each other.

You can read more information below from the gov.uk website about the difference between parental conflict and domestic abuse.

The Parental Relationships tool also helps to differentiate between Parental Conflict and Domestic Abuse. As you will see there is an overlap/grey area where more assessment is needed. The aim of any assessment prior to parental conflict work is about ruling out Domestic Abuse, if in doubt always create ‘safe spaces to talk’ and follow Safeguarding policies.

The Parental Relationships Spectrum is an example of a tool to help practitioners understand whether a relationship is healthy, has conflict or is abusive.